maaaaan everything is a bit shit right now. but most of it is the "shit" that i want.
i learned (the hard way) how hard it is to actually try to run a company, with how hard it is to keep track of and process all of these orders by my fucking self, while dealing with school stuff and making music. i realized that i should probably sit back and work extensively on a good collection while saving up a good amount of money to invest into a good, solid drop. so that's exactly what i'm gonna start doing now, putting a good percentage of my pays into my savings until it's at a good enough amount for an investment for a drop.
the "shit" that i don't want however, is at an all time high. i'm back into living my old bad habits that i've been trying to destroy. i'm trynna get all of these toxic habits out of me bro and it's so hard because my brain is basically wired to unconsciously do those things, so to have control over them is super challenging. but it isn't impossible, i just need a crazy amount of discipline. i'm trying to meditate more, drink more water, improve my sleep habits and be smarter with my money. these are all things i think i need to start improving on if i wanna get on track. i also need to let go of my addiction to instant gratification, whether that is through porn, social media, YouTube or Netflix, i just get more control over how much i consume because i feel like these things have a huge impact on my brain when it comes to patience and even just my general mental health.
i've lost so much money and taken so many Ls these past weeks, it's fucking insane. but i feel this is exactly what's supposed to happen, especially considering the fact that i'm still new to this game, and these failures are just lessons so i can get better. Elon was right though, this shit is like chewing glass.